Keys to communicating with your children

My first rule of parenting – Be consistent in your communication.  Say what you mean; mean what you say!

  1. You cannot exaggerate in your threats.   Parents have a tendency to make outlandish sounding threats to their kids to get them to obey or pay attention.  As your children become pre-teens and teenagers – they know you.  They know what you will or won’t do.  You cannot make a threat you have no intention of carrying out.  If you tell them that they will lose their iPhone for a week – than it better be gone for 7 days if they disobey.  If you tell them they are grounded for a month, then make them stay home for a month.  Don’t cave because it is easier for you.   You cannot lose this discipline method while they are a teen – it is really all you have.

2. If you tell them you are going to do something – do it!  Don’t make excuses.  Follow through on your promises.  If you tell your son you’re going hunting next weekend – you better be dead if you don’t go.  Your teens are now cynical.  They have a lot of people letting them down – don’t be one of them.

3. Don’t yell.  Yelling does no good.  If you yell all the time, it will have no affect upon your teens.  It is just how you communicate.  Teens respond to authority figures that use few words but really mean what they say.  Your home needs to be the peaceful oasis that the rest of the world is not. Don’t yell.  Yelling is a cheap replacement for those that don’t  have control.

  • Pastor Wes Gunther
Metaphor showing communication between generations against white