After twelve years of being a pastor I have conducted many sessions of marriage counseling. There seems to be one consistent theme: each individual wants me to tell their spouse what they need to fix. No one ever comes in thinking that they themselves are the problem. They all “know” that their spouse is the problem.
The Word of God teaches us that we must all give an account before God. We are going to give an account of ourselves. We are to judge not because we will stand in judgement before God for our own deeds. Suffice to say: we are only responsible for our actions. We can only control our own actions. We will give an account for our own actions.
We cannot change someone’s actions or thoughts. We can, however, change our own. That is the only control we have in any relationship. We can make sure that we are doing the right thing, that we are responding the right way and that we are handling each situation the way that God wants us to.